The feeling of mediocrity

Mediocre...
A strong word.
A word that can define someone.
Define their life.

It signals an average individual. Someone who will live their life fairly unaccomplished. Having touched the few individuals around them, but leaving a minimal mark outside of that realm.

I fear being mediocre, and thus strive not to be.
Yet, at the same time I fear that I am, actually, mediocre.

I am average at most everything I attempt.
I am not a natural at everything I try, like some.

I must work for what I want, yet I find myself blocked by the struggle of becoming great.
My fear of being mediocre keeps me from trying (ironic, right?).

I have a desire to write, but I am an average writer.
I have a desire to teach, but I am an average teacher.
I have a desire to run a business, but I am average at that as well.
I am a mother, and am a fairly average one.

I lack passion, pizzazz... I am lackluster in my life.

Unsure about why I am lacking, I am, for the time being, stuck in a bewildered state about my inability to move past my own mediocrity to achieve greatness....